Monday, September 22, 2008
Is college real?
Last year when I was a senior, my boyfriend had already left for college. That summer of junior year is still so fresh in my mind. I spent as much time as I could with him before he left, and we did everything he wanted to do since he was leaving the state. Watching him with his friends, and seeing him stress out because he wanted to get so much done in just a couple of months freaked me out. I couldn’t believe I had to go through with that next year. How do you cram your family, friends, places, and events all into 3 months? Anyway as senior year came to an end, it was my turn. Those 3 months I had been dreading had finally creeped up behind me. During the summer, I went to my favorite restaurants, all my favorite places, and spent as much time as I could with the people I loved. And as I had predicted, those 3 months passed like the blink of an eye. It was here. My last week at home. Now here is where it gets weird. I didn’t feel stressed, overwhelmed or even sad. I felt a sort of excitement that I never saw my boyfriend experience. Was this wrong? Was I supposed to cry everytime I said goodbye to my friends? The goodbyes happened one after the other, every next one getting easier than the last. This is weird I thought. Shouldn’t I be hysterical? I love these people, and they are no longer going to be spending every day with me. Still, as hard as I tried, I couldn’t cry. I got sad yes, but the tears I watched my boyfriend shed never came. The next minute I’m lying in bed staring down at my suitcases. This is supposed to be the saddest time of all. Yet the butterflies floating in my stomach weren’t depressed. I knew that my anxiety was only positive energy. College. Is this real? Is it really happening this fast? Anyway, here we are at college, and I’m all settled in. I miss home and friends, but I’m not homesick. Is this normal? For the first time in my life I felt a sense of empowerment having my parents here. They followed me like puppy dogs, because for the first time in our lives, we showed our parents around, introduced them to new people, and let them enter our new life. We are now adults. Will this feeling fade or will we embrace every moment and every responsibility we didn’t have at home?
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2 comments:
I know how you feel. As summer approached, I got more and more nervous about how I was going to feel about leaving home. Would it be a relief to get away from my "evil" step-mother, or would I feel alone going to a college 7 hours away from home, not knowing a soul. I also had a boyfriend who went to college before me. All during my senior year I heard how crazy the college life was, how there was no time to do anything but school and organizations, and how even though you think you'll still be so close with that best friend, times and people change.
Life at SMU is definitely different from being at home. I do miss my friends and having a home cooked meal every once in a while would be nice, but I am not in the least bit homesick.
My worries about transition from living at home and being away from my friends are now suppressed, and I can't wait to see what the rest of this year has in store.
The same thing happened to me during the summer of my junior year. My boyfriend was leaving for college and throughout the year I heard about all of the fun he was having. The only different thing was that he was soo excited to leave for college and there were few tears that came from him except for when we said goodbye to each other. I think I felt more like your boyfriend where I had to cram in everything at the last minute. I was excited to come to SMU but it was also hard to say goodbye to my past in the few short months.
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